i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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