Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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