So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
