ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
