I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
