Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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