i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
