nut hugger
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
