4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i already hear my dad disowning me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
