Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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