I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
