I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
