You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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