I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
