Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
