If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
