So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do herpes really smell.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
