Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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