I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
