Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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