This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
