The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize