Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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