u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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