Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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