all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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