How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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