i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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