Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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