I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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