Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have fence marks all over my body
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
