He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
