is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
