it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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