Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
