And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We have started to decorate penises.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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