he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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