i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
