glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
