Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize