Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
