watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize