Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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