Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
