this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
