Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
