So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize