Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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