What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize