well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
This house was built for laser tag.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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