It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
