You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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