Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
