i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
