She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
