She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
