Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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