Kiss
Puke
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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