you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
