just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
