so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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