dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
