people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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