operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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